Family and living together
(Guest Speaker at the Schloss Seggau/Leibnitz during the Dalai Lama visit & Kalachakra Event in Graz) 10/25/2001

J. Reuben Silverbird

  
To so many young people, marriage is like a fantasy dream. specially to the majority of young girls who are closer related, in heart and have more feeling for the “forever” symbol associated with marriage. Whereas, most young men, with few exceptions, it is thought of more as a “conquest”. To most women, it is a romantic adventure that is visualized as a true love story.
  
It is so easy to say the symbolic two-words that supposedly bring two people happiness forever. Yet, these two words have been broken so often and have caused more unhappiness to couples because, most of the time, they were not properly guided and did not really understand the meaning and responsibility of the true and sacred commitment that comes with the words “I do”.

 
There is a lack of spiritual guidance and communication between parent and child today. Proper holy instruction by the church is also idle, as many within the house of worship are too busy, trying to evade the, long over do and well deserved, damaging news headlines of evil deeds committed against many dedicated church-going disciples. Deeds that for ages were only lingering “whispered secrets” now finally come to light because of a few brave and courageous disciples. Today, more than ever, before entering into the most sanctified of all lifetime commitments, young couples need someone to turn to in order to really understand the sacredness of marriage, and there is no one really there they can trust or respect to tell them how holy their “forever promise” really is.
Many times, the hallowed vows of matrimony, because of improper preparatory instruction culminate in abuse, complete destruction of the two lives, that originally entered into the marriage with much love and strong heart, and finally in total failure
  
The break-up not only hurts them psychologically, but at times causes total collapse of the home and finances. Beyond the material lose are the children who also end up with a lifetime of traumatic pain that can never be erased. As much as the ex-parents keep trying to reassure themselves that their divorce will not hurt the children, there is nothing that can ever calm or rid the memory imprint within young impressionable learning minds. There is no explanation that can suffice, for the absence of either missing parent.
A well prepared manual, by a, beyond reproach, responsible panel of respected Elders from different walks of life is desperately needed. A program that teaches the young couples at least twelve months before the proposed wedding takes place. An instruction course that is mandatory. A sit down class that teaches the couple, both visually and instructively, the reality of the vows they are taking: Witnessing the actual birth of a newborn human being that may soon be a lifetime responsibility for them as well.

 

The responsibility of such advise should come from trusted and well adjusted individuals, not necessarily from any religion, whose duty it is to make young people aware, of the sacred respect for matrimony, and that from the moment they are the cause of new life, their own lives no longer belong to them alone.
  
 

The latest statistics show: “There are more single parents in the world today than ever before in the history of mankind”